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Women are Emotional Creatures

Updated: May 26, 2020

It’s funny how people use the phrase “office politics,” as an excuse to be rude, disrespectful , or just plain catty. It adds 0 value to your work or your brand as a person. What is the f-ing point {steps off soapbox}, but I digress.

I was asked to run lead on a particular project for one of my extracurricular boards I sit on. The leader asked me personally to take lead, and I have to admit I was flattered. I’m always eager to take on more responsibility and just show my worth within my team. Well, like ‘office politics’ go, the leader reaches out to me ‘off-the-record’ to ask me to take on this additional responsibility- I happily accept. He mentions it’s not public knowledge so hush-hush until I give the okay. I wanted to say, dude we aren’t running some covert mission, but decided to let his ego live another day.

Anyway, me being the fabulous me, I jump to action: gather my team, set-up meetings, set realistic deadlines --all that jazz. I can’t even lie I’m mad excited. I tell my fam, friends, and circle of concern. For dorks like me, this is a big deal.

Now fast-forward 3 days. I get a 911 from another department lead asking me about the project. Me being me, I’m ready to tell him everything and the direction I’m headed but then remembered, oh yeah, hush-hush. I uncharacteristically remain quiet as he spoke, to learn about what he knows, and then act surprised by it all.

But instead, my bubble pops. He proceeds to tell me, HE was asked to lead on the project and wants to know if I’ll support him and how I plan on doing that. What in the entire F*** (re-read that last sentence in all caps with your fist shaking in the air)!!!!!!

I had a Zack Morris time-out moment (google it) as I looked into the camera and decide which option to take.

Option 1: Loose my sh**

Let him know I was told, I would be leading it, and remind that other lead of our hush-hush conversation while copying several higher-ups. And then quit the whole thing.

Option 2: Take the high road

Congratulate this douche, who honestly, probably had nothing to do with it, and support him anyway I can. To ensure no animosity reach out to the first lead and discuss the miscommunication in a productive way.

Option 3: Ride the wave

Continue doing what I was doing before I heard about this opportunity, and lookout for other ones while still excelling in everything I touch.

Each time I try and fight the current I end up worse than before, but when I allow what will happen to just happen, I come out on top.

Option 1 & 2 will inevitably doom me. I’ll be the emotional woman, regardless of the approach. If I address this direct and blunt I’m a b**** ; if I have a clarifying conversation expressing my disappointment in how this was handled, I’m weak and needy. No win!!

I‘m not accepting defeat but instead stepping back and watching the show while simultaneously performing my own magic trick.

Sometimes you have to ride the wave - if they are good without you; let them be good. Keep doing what you doing and doing it well and let them learn from a distance. At least that seems to be my recipe for success, I’ll keep you posted on the outcome of this show.

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